*30 Weeks - Bittersweet*

*30 Weeks* is a bittersweet marking for us with baby Joshua. At our 24 week ultrasound & appointment, we discussed inducing at 30 weeks. If things had gone to plan before Kelly & I felt strongly that the Lord was telling us to hold on, we would have been in the hospital this week meeting our son. I am so thankful, more than thankful actually, that the Lord gave us such strong convictions about not being induced at 30 weeks. I am so happy to have had 30 weeks with our son and to have how ever many weeks more that the Lord keeps baby Joshua in my womb.

We celebrated our son this past weekend with a baby shower - the guests donated toys to Toys-For-Tots in honor of baby Joshua, and gave donations to String of Pearls which is one of the organizations that has provided us with so many things to make memories of baby Joshua once he's born. We also had maternity pictures taken with one of my old co-workers, Katie Knowles & her sister Christy. She just launched her new business - ThistleField Photography! It was the best afternoon spent with my family making wonderful memories with sweet baby Joshua. We will put some pictures on the blog once we receive the CD from Christy in a week or two!!

*Angi*Dana*Allison*Kristen*Maureen*Elizabeth*Julie*

(not pictured: Jana)

This picture was taken October 28, 2011 - 28 weeks pregnant with baby Joshua!

We looked back, and I was just as small with Kaitlynn as I am with Joshua!

After the wonderful weekend we had, "bittersweet" is definitely the perfect word to mark this week. I spent time battling with the Lord again about baby Joshua's situation.... telling Him that it isn't fair that we're having to loose our son when we want him so badly. It's definitely ironic because all I could think about after hours of tears in my sweet husband's arms, is the pain the Lord must have felt watching His Son die on the cross for everyone's sin...... Everyone that has come before us, that is on this Earth now, and those that will come after we're gone. As hard as this is for our family, it comforts my heart knowing that the Lord truly knows every heartache that I feel, every pain that hits my bones, every tear that forms, and every joyful moment I encounter.

We have our next doctor's appointment this coming Friday morning. I am so thankful we do not have to wait two weeks to hear our son's heartbeat! It's very special listening to him at home everyday.... definitely a sound I'll never forget.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

-Psalm 34:18

"You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise;

You perceive my thoughts from afar.

You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.

You hem me in behind and before,

and you lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I ride on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,"

even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

-Psalm 139: 1-12

Kaitlynn Singing @ 2-years Old

I think Kelly & I could listen to Kaitlynn's sweet voice as a 2-year old forever!! Here are a couple videos of Kaitlynn singing a few of her favorite songs!

28 Weeks with baby Joshua

We finally hit our big milestone this past Tuesday! We officially moved into the 3rd Trimester with baby Joshua. I just get chills down my spine thinking about how we felt at 21 weeks when we were told about baby Joshua's situation, and how we feel now at 28 weeks! We are just completely thankful & very joyful in knowing that we've made it so far with our sweet son. We've been able to feel a lot of kicks & movement, listen to his heartbeat anytime we wanted to feel close to him, and daydream of what it'll be like finally meeting & holding our baby boy.

We had another check-up yesterday!

I always enjoy going to our OB because the midwife we are using is a christian believer, and really encourages Kelly & I in this journey with baby Joshua. Everything checked out great! We measured 26 weeks, which means more growth! We're still only 2 weeks behind on measurements. His heartbeat also sounded extremely strong. We're all still shocked with how well baby Joshua is doing and growing! The Lord definitely deserves all the praise with each check-up in this pregnancy.

Kelly & I spent some time this week getting baby Joshua's heartbeat recorded on video. I am so thankful we finally spent time doing that. It's a sweet sound I never want to forget, and will never have to forget. I'll get the recording on the blog for our next update!

Here are two links to UTube. These are three different songs that have spoken tremendously to both Kelly & I during this journey. I hope these songs bless you as much as they have blessed both of us!

The first song - I Will Carry You by Selah

(Angie Smith wrote this song while she was pregnant with her daughter, Audrey. Beautiful....)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2CnUtVY35o

The second song - Held by Natalie Grant

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOufqWodFNo

The third song - Faithful God by Gateway Worship

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pjNy4IDCII

Halloween 2011

This year, Kelly & I had so much fun with Kaitlynn for Hallween!! We spent time carving our pumpkin for the first time, and took Kaitlynn trick-or-treating! She absolutely soaked up every minute of going up to every door for candy. It was too precious.

-*- Pumpkin Carving 2011 *-*

*-* Our Butterfly Princess *-*

*-* Trick-or-Treating *-*

Celebrating baby Joshua

Tuesday, October 25th was a very special evening for me. Several of the ladies in our Sunday school class had a coffee & dessert get-together in honor of me & baby Joshua. It was a wonderful time of fellowship, spending time praising the Lord for the life he's already given baby Joshua, and sweet moments in prayer. Kelly & I are very thankful to be a part of Relevant Faith at JFBC and have felt cradled, loved, supported, and prayed over during our this special journey with our son, baby Joshua. Each new life should be celebrated regardless of the amount of days he/she is with us on Earth. I am so thankful that our days are only specifically numbered here on Earth, and not in Heaven with our Lord.

"For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them."

-Matthew 18:20-

*Kim*Elizabeth*Heather*Anne*Lisa*Kristen*Devin*Christy*Jenifer*

*26 Weeks*

After each doctor's appointment, I feel very blessed that our pregnancy has come this far. I am so excited that we're almost entering the 3rd trimester! When we received the news that baby Joshua had Triploidy, the thought of making it to the 3rd trimester never entered my mind. Now we're only two weeks away from that milestone with him!

The past month has been a roller coaster as Kelly & I have spent time preparing ourselves for Joshua's birth, burial, and everyday coping strategies with everything we're facing. We were told at the beginning of all of this (around 21 weeks) that we could decide when we wanted to be induced. Kelly & I had decided that 30 weeks was a good, strong time frame.

The past few days, a lot changed. Baby Joshua continued having a strong heartbeat, and started kicking me hard enough to feel him from outside my tummy! Complete blessing for me & Kelly. I also started questioning being induced at 30 weeks. I started feeling very torn between a lot of decisions. My heart was not 100% okay with picking a specific date for baby Joshua to be born, and possibly pass away at the same time. I told Kelly on our way to our doctor appt. this afternoon that I needed the Lord to show me - black or white - which route we needed to go.... either inducing at 30 weeks, or letting nature take its course. Our midwife did just that for us. After checking baby Joshua's heartbeat, his growth, etc. we spent time talking through how we were feeling at this point. She told us point blank that the other doctors & herself discussed our situation and feel that the best route for us would be to continue the pregnancy until things happened naturally. Thank you Lord for giving me the direct answer I needed!!

The appointment went great - baby Joshua had a strong heartbeat around 140 bpm again. We are 26 weeks pregnant and measuring 24 weeks, which means growth! I have no idea what baby Joshua is up to, but I'm so thankful that he is happy, healthy, & growing in the womb.

Kelly & I both believe that there will be a blessing at the end of all this heartache. We're not completely sure what the blessing will be yet, but I cannot wait to find out.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

before you were born I set you apart;

I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

-Jeremiah 1:5-

Our family of *almost* 4

Kaitlynn has a blue bunny blanket that we're saving for baby Joshua!

I'm wearing a blue pin in honor of him.

Berry Patch Farms

Kelly & I took Kaitlynn to Berry Patch Farms this past weekend. We had a wonderful time together as a family. The weather was cool & crisp. It was a gorgeous Saturday morning, and there was nothing else I would have rather been doing!!