The Crawford Family: December 2011

From the moment Kelly & I knew about Joshua's condition - Triploidy - we prayed the Lord would fill our hearts & minds with peace. It is not easy losing a loved one; it's a very tough process, but one that you either handle alone or let the Lord guide you through. I remember telling Kelly a few years ago that I could never handle losing a child. The Lord chose us to be Joshua's parents for 33 weeks during pregnancy, but decided then it was time to take him Home. I will never forget the impact he had on my life & continues to have each day.

After 32 weeks 4 days, I told Kelly on Friday, December 12th that I had a strange feeling come over me that Joshua was gone; that he was with the Lord. We had an already scheduled OB appt for my 33-week check-up the following morning so I decided not to listen to his heartbeat & wait until I was seen the next day. I walked into the office on Saturday morning feeling strange.... I was alone because Kelly was at home with Kaitlynn who was extremely sick. My sweet midwife, Christy, came in & after a few moments with the heart monitor, we couldn't find his heartbeat. Typically we would find it immediately, but I already knew he was gone. We headed into a different room where we checked on the ultrasound, which confirmed what I already knew..... Joshua was gone. His heart had stopped. I had to call Kelly & tell him over the phone that our son was already with the Lord - it was not the phone call I wanted to make.

We headed to the hospital the next morning (Sunday, December 4th) in hopes to have a VBAC. After 36-40 hours of induced labor, we headed into the OR for a c-section. Looking back & thinking about our time in the hospital, I was so glad to have had that c-section. Having surgery gave us a chance to see our son in perfect condition. His fragile body most likely would not have made it through a regular delivery. The time we had with Joshua's earthly body was very peaceful - exactly what we had prayed for. Joshua never knew pain & he met the Lord after 33 weeks of unending love from Kelly & myself.

It's absolutely amazing that a precious baby would impact so many people including our family, friends, & people we have never even met. It's neat to think about how a helpless, innocent newborn can have a lasting affect on so many people. It's a wonderful reminder, especially during the Christmas season, that the Lord came to this Earth as a helpless, innocent baby, with the sole purpose to love & minister to people.... eventually be crucified on the cross to save us from our sin. Because of Him, Kelly & I will be with our son again one day. Because of that truth & that the Lord is our Saviour, we are able to move forward with our lives here; joyfully anticipating the day the Lord calls us Home.

We love you Joshua! You will forever be our precious son, our Angel.

We will remember you always & look forward to the day we're together again!