Celebrating baby Joshua

Tuesday, October 25th was a very special evening for me. Several of the ladies in our Sunday school class had a coffee & dessert get-together in honor of me & baby Joshua. It was a wonderful time of fellowship, spending time praising the Lord for the life he's already given baby Joshua, and sweet moments in prayer. Kelly & I are very thankful to be a part of Relevant Faith at JFBC and have felt cradled, loved, supported, and prayed over during our this special journey with our son, baby Joshua. Each new life should be celebrated regardless of the amount of days he/she is with us on Earth. I am so thankful that our days are only specifically numbered here on Earth, and not in Heaven with our Lord.

"For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with them."

-Matthew 18:20-

*Kim*Elizabeth*Heather*Anne*Lisa*Kristen*Devin*Christy*Jenifer*

*26 Weeks*

After each doctor's appointment, I feel very blessed that our pregnancy has come this far. I am so excited that we're almost entering the 3rd trimester! When we received the news that baby Joshua had Triploidy, the thought of making it to the 3rd trimester never entered my mind. Now we're only two weeks away from that milestone with him!

The past month has been a roller coaster as Kelly & I have spent time preparing ourselves for Joshua's birth, burial, and everyday coping strategies with everything we're facing. We were told at the beginning of all of this (around 21 weeks) that we could decide when we wanted to be induced. Kelly & I had decided that 30 weeks was a good, strong time frame.

The past few days, a lot changed. Baby Joshua continued having a strong heartbeat, and started kicking me hard enough to feel him from outside my tummy! Complete blessing for me & Kelly. I also started questioning being induced at 30 weeks. I started feeling very torn between a lot of decisions. My heart was not 100% okay with picking a specific date for baby Joshua to be born, and possibly pass away at the same time. I told Kelly on our way to our doctor appt. this afternoon that I needed the Lord to show me - black or white - which route we needed to go.... either inducing at 30 weeks, or letting nature take its course. Our midwife did just that for us. After checking baby Joshua's heartbeat, his growth, etc. we spent time talking through how we were feeling at this point. She told us point blank that the other doctors & herself discussed our situation and feel that the best route for us would be to continue the pregnancy until things happened naturally. Thank you Lord for giving me the direct answer I needed!!

The appointment went great - baby Joshua had a strong heartbeat around 140 bpm again. We are 26 weeks pregnant and measuring 24 weeks, which means growth! I have no idea what baby Joshua is up to, but I'm so thankful that he is happy, healthy, & growing in the womb.

Kelly & I both believe that there will be a blessing at the end of all this heartache. We're not completely sure what the blessing will be yet, but I cannot wait to find out.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

before you were born I set you apart;

I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

-Jeremiah 1:5-

Our family of *almost* 4

Kaitlynn has a blue bunny blanket that we're saving for baby Joshua!

I'm wearing a blue pin in honor of him.

Berry Patch Farms

Kelly & I took Kaitlynn to Berry Patch Farms this past weekend. We had a wonderful time together as a family. The weather was cool & crisp. It was a gorgeous Saturday morning, and there was nothing else I would have rather been doing!!

*24 Weeks with Baby Joshua*

Kelly, Kaitlynn & I headed to our 24-week appointment & ultrasound this afternoon. All day long I felt joy about today's appointment. I woke up excited and in huge anticipation to see our precious son again. I think part of me was hoping for a big miracle & that things would have drastically changed. The other part of me accepted what was happening and just wanted to enjoy feeling like I was closer to my son than I was yesterday.

It took forever to be seen..... but it was definitely worth the wait. Baby Joshua seemed very happy in my womb! There were no signs of pre-labor at the moment. I was very thankful for the news because to be completely honest, I am not ready for our pregnancy to be over! I am enjoying the time we have with him now since this is the only time we're given!

Kaitlynn was a trooper during the entire visit. We were there 1.5 hours! That was definitely a long time to keep a toddler entertained. Thank goodness for Kelly's Blackberry & UTube! Here is a quick snapshot of me & my sweet girl waiting to be seen by our midwife.

After being seen by our midwife, we all headed into the ultrasound room to finally spend some time watching our baby boy!! He didn't move around much, but we were able to see his little body and hear his sweet heartbeat. It was absolutely surreal. Once again, all I could think about was the fact that our baby boy's heart was beating 138 bpm, and that he seemed very happy. How could things seem fine right now, but knowing what the end of our pregnancy will bring?!

During our visit today, the Lord gave me peace. I was able to enjoy our appt. & ultrasound, and did not worry about the things to come. My heart was guarded and all I felt was love and happiness for my baby boy.

As we left the doctor, I was being reminded that this place we call home, is really not our Home. Our true Home is in Heaven with the Lord. I am so thankful I am doing what I am called to do as a mother - I am keeping baby Joshua safe in my womb until the Lord takes him to our Home. I have so much happiness in knowing that one day I will be reunited with Joshua, and will be able to give him another huge hug. Thank you Jesus for the choice of forever with you & our precious loved ones.

Here are two of our favorite pictures from the ultrasound today.

Meet our son, Joshua Keith Crawford.

This is Joshua's profile picture - his hand is up by his face!

Kaitlynn did that a lot during her ultrasounds as well. Love it!

Not too sure what the top picture was supposed to be, but the main point of this was to have a visual picture of Joshua's strong heartbeat. It was 138 bpm today!

Psalm 23:4 (NLT)

Even when I walk through the darkest valley,

I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.

Psalm 30:5 (NLT)

For his anger lasts only a moment,

but his favor lasts a lifetime!

Weeping may last through the night,

but joy comes with the morning.

Hebrews 4:15-16 (NLT)

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses,

for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.

There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.