Berry Patch Farms

Kelly & I took Kaitlynn to Berry Patch Farms this past weekend. We had a wonderful time together as a family. The weather was cool & crisp. It was a gorgeous Saturday morning, and there was nothing else I would have rather been doing!!

*24 Weeks with Baby Joshua*

Kelly, Kaitlynn & I headed to our 24-week appointment & ultrasound this afternoon. All day long I felt joy about today's appointment. I woke up excited and in huge anticipation to see our precious son again. I think part of me was hoping for a big miracle & that things would have drastically changed. The other part of me accepted what was happening and just wanted to enjoy feeling like I was closer to my son than I was yesterday.

It took forever to be seen..... but it was definitely worth the wait. Baby Joshua seemed very happy in my womb! There were no signs of pre-labor at the moment. I was very thankful for the news because to be completely honest, I am not ready for our pregnancy to be over! I am enjoying the time we have with him now since this is the only time we're given!

Kaitlynn was a trooper during the entire visit. We were there 1.5 hours! That was definitely a long time to keep a toddler entertained. Thank goodness for Kelly's Blackberry & UTube! Here is a quick snapshot of me & my sweet girl waiting to be seen by our midwife.

After being seen by our midwife, we all headed into the ultrasound room to finally spend some time watching our baby boy!! He didn't move around much, but we were able to see his little body and hear his sweet heartbeat. It was absolutely surreal. Once again, all I could think about was the fact that our baby boy's heart was beating 138 bpm, and that he seemed very happy. How could things seem fine right now, but knowing what the end of our pregnancy will bring?!

During our visit today, the Lord gave me peace. I was able to enjoy our appt. & ultrasound, and did not worry about the things to come. My heart was guarded and all I felt was love and happiness for my baby boy.

As we left the doctor, I was being reminded that this place we call home, is really not our Home. Our true Home is in Heaven with the Lord. I am so thankful I am doing what I am called to do as a mother - I am keeping baby Joshua safe in my womb until the Lord takes him to our Home. I have so much happiness in knowing that one day I will be reunited with Joshua, and will be able to give him another huge hug. Thank you Jesus for the choice of forever with you & our precious loved ones.

Here are two of our favorite pictures from the ultrasound today.

Meet our son, Joshua Keith Crawford.

This is Joshua's profile picture - his hand is up by his face!

Kaitlynn did that a lot during her ultrasounds as well. Love it!

Not too sure what the top picture was supposed to be, but the main point of this was to have a visual picture of Joshua's strong heartbeat. It was 138 bpm today!

Psalm 23:4 (NLT)

Even when I walk through the darkest valley,

I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me.

Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me.

Psalm 30:5 (NLT)

For his anger lasts only a moment,

but his favor lasts a lifetime!

Weeping may last through the night,

but joy comes with the morning.

Hebrews 4:15-16 (NLT)

This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses,

for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.

There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

The Beginning Journey of our Precious Son, Joshua

Thursday, May 12, 2011 was a very exciting day for our family. It was the day I was able to tell Kelly we were expecting our 2nd baby! Little did we know what all was in store for our precious baby.

The weeks flew by and I barely had time to really pay attention to the pregnancy due to a very energetic 2-year old daughter. June.... July.... and August flew by and our 19-week ultrasound came around quickly. The month prior to our appt., Kelly & I battled back and forth between finding out the sex of the baby. I kept telling him how much I felt as though we were pregnant with a little boy and was able to convince him that we needed to find out for sure!

When Tuesday, August 30, 2011 arrived, Kelly & I were anxious to go to our appt. for the ultrasound. We took a few pictures in anticipation of seeing our sweet new baby!

Little did we know that the rest of our life would be forever changed from that 19-week ultrasound..

I remember lying down on the table ready to see our baby. The first shot we saw was his/her head. The only words we heard were "I need to get Dr. Chappell, there are some problems." I remember looking at Kelly and having tears run down my face with fear. Dr. Chappell came in & told us that it seemed as though our baby showed signs of Hydrocephalus. Oh how I wish to this day that was what we were really dealing with, but it wasn't. We went ahead and did the blood work to know if there was anything else we would be going through.

The following Tuesday, September 6, 2011 we received the phone call that my blood-work came back positive for Trisomy 18. For women my age, it's typically "1 out of 3500," but for me I showed up as "1 out of 10." The fear rose greatly. Trisomy babies do not survive long after birth - a week... maybe a month.... some survive a few months. I was crushed and devastated at the news I received that day. For the next week, I prayed & pleaded with the Lord to heal our son. I questioned how He could let this happen. The Lord is sovereign and He did not do this to our child. These devastating incidents happen because sin came into the world. Our bodies are not perfect, and things like this do happen, but praise be to God that we have eternity to look forward to where we will be perfected & our imperfections will be nonexistent.

The following week, we went to the Atlanta Perinatal Specialists for another ultrasound, and chose to do the Amnio so we would know 100% what we were being faced with. It felt like eternity waiting on our results. We received the early test results on Thursday, Sept. 8, 2011 which explained that our baby boy, Joshua, did not have Trisomy 18 - he had Triploidy. This means that instead of having 46 chromosomes - 23 from mommy, and 23 from daddy - baby Joshua had 69. They explained that this was not compatible for life. Most triploidy babies end as miscarriages. The few that make it into the 2nd & 3rd trimester end in stillbirths. Only about "1 out of 10,000" are actually born alive before passing shortly thereafter. Thankfully we found out that this is an extremely rare situation and is nothing that is hereditary. We will definitely be able to have more children, if that is what the Lord has planned for us!

We spent the following morning, Friday Sept. 9, 2011 talking with the Genetic Counselor at Northside Hospital. She explained that we had two options - to terminate the pregnancy or to continue the pregnancy until the baby passes. First of all, those should never be options during a pregnancy...... Parents should never have to go through the pain of losing a child. However, once again, because sin entered the world, it is one circumstance that is very common. Kelly & I chose to continue the pregnancy. Our pregnancy was the only time we were going to have with our baby boy. It is definitely hard to wake up each day with the reminder that things are not "normal" for us this time around. However, I am reminded of the Lord's grace everything I feel baby Joshua kick in the womb, or listen to his heartbeat. Kelly has been able to feel him kick once, which was a huge answer to prayer.

Where are we now? As of today, we're almost 24-weeks pregnant, and baby Joshua seems to be quite happy in my womb. I'm sure he's pretty cozy! We have good day & bad days, and I'm sure they'll both continue. We are trying to prepare ourselves for the day that the Lord takes our baby boy home with Him. At the same time, we're also trying to enjoy each moment that he is here with us during this pregnancy. We have no idea how many days we have left, but words cannot describe how thankful we are to already have had 24 weeks with him already!

We are so thankful for everyone who has been praying for us and continues to pray for us. My daily prayer is for the Lord to heal our son. However, that may not happen until the Lord calls him home, but baby Joshua will be healed & perfected. I am so thankful that we have eternity to look forward to so that we will see our baby boy again!

For those of you always asking what you can do for our family during this time. Your prayers are the best thing for us! We feel the Lord's peace daily about our decisions during this process, and the events that have yet taken place. Continue to pray that we are surrounded by the Lord's love and peace during this time. Pray that we feel joy as we meet our baby boy in the coming weeks & say "see you later" on that same day. Because of our gracious Father in Heaven, it's always going to be "see you later," because there are never any goodbyes as brothers & sisters in Christ.

We will continue to update periodically on our progress and how things are going! Thank you again for all of your prayers and kind thoughts.

A few thoughts that has kept me going.......

During every good & bad circumstance, do you put your trust in the Lord? Do you trust Him to fulfill His will and what is best for our lives?

In the midst of brokeness, cling to the Lord & trust His goodness. Even when things seem extremely dark and the end is not in sight, remember that He is the one that sees the entire picture & He is the one that can bring you through any circumstance!

Blessings by Laura Story
'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.".

Matthew 11:28

Kaitlynn is *2*

It's hard to believe that two years ago Kaitlynn came into this world. We had absolutely no idea what kind of personality she'd bring into our family, but it's definitely a great one!

*She is very bright, creative & independent.

*She loves to talk

*She is very strong-willed & stubborn :-)

*She is definitely a leader, not a follower.

*She loves to snuggle, give hugs & kisses.

*She plays school everyday - knows, recognizes, & can say in order - numbers 0-20,

and letters A-Z.

*She loves to feed & burp her baby dolls

*She can say 3-4 word phrases - our favorite "Love you Mommy, or Love you too Daddy"

*She can follow directions when she so chooses

*She loves to dig through the fridge to find yogurt after her nap!

*She still loves to read books

*She loves to play "get you" where we chase her around the house.

*She loves the pool & playing with her water table

*She loves to play outside & go for walks in our neighborhood

*She loves bubbles & chalk

*Her favorite TV shows include Dora, Mickey, Clifford & Curious George.

*Kaitlynn loves to walk around the house pretending to talk to every character from TV shows that she can possible think of.

*Kaitlynn still doesn't know or understand just yet, but she's definitely going to be a great

big sister come January 2012!!

We had her 2-year checkup this past week.

Weight: 23 lbs. (10%)

Length: 33 in. (50%)

We spent Kaitlynn's birthday doing a lot of her favorite things..... trip to the GA Aquarium on Saturday morning, lunch @ Taco Mac - she loves getting oreos, "rest time," and then spent the late afternoon/early evening at a pool party!

Kaitlynn 2nd Birthday

We had a lot of our family & friends at Kaitlynn's birthday party this past weekend. It was a blast spending time with everyone!

This year, I made Kaitlynn a Monkey Cake!

Water Table Fun!

Kaitlynn loves being outside...... Kaitlynn loves playing with water...........

Our 3rd Anniversary!

A couple weeks ago, Kelly & I were talking about the past 4 years that we've known each other. It's been a quick journey, but I have loved every minute of it!

4 years ago (June 2007)........ I met Kelly

3 years ago (July 2008)........ I married my best friend

2 years ago (August 2009)......... Our first daughter was born

1 year ago (April 2010)......... We moved into our first home

Now (July 2011)........ We're 15 weeks pregnant with our 2nd child

Next year (January 2012)......... we'll become a family of 4

A lot has happened over these last 4 years since I've known Kelly, and I have been blessed with 3 wonderful years of marriage. The song we danced to - When God Made You by Newsong - fit us perfectly then & still does now.

Love you Kelly Crawford! I am so happy I get to experience life with you!

*July 26, 2008*